UBUNTU

 

Alright people, take a breath. These are uncomfortable and unsettling times; everyone can at least agree on that.  You know what is going to get us through?

Ubuntu. 

Roughly translated: I am who I am because of who and what we are.

The great Desmond Tutu described it best: "It speaks of the very essence of being human. 'So and so has ubuntu'. Then you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say, 'My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours. '"

This is why I have the utmost faith that everything is going to be okay. Better than okay.  All great changes are preceded by chaos. We are in the chaos phase.

It's the Universal nudge that it is time to pay attention.

And people are. Have you noticed that just one year ago our topic of conversation was of Jon Snow and whether he would live or had died? Now, we talk about immigration, women's rights, education, and pipelines. We study these topics, learning and deciphering fact from fiction. And soon, out of that research, will come an educated opinion.  And out of that educated opinion... change.

Because We are a melting pot of brilliance with a dash of sass.

Because...

We have ubuntu.

 

Ubuntu

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I'm With...Us.

em·pa·thy

ˈempəTHē/

noun

  1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

 

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This is what empathy looks like.

More than 600,000 people flooded Washington on Saturday in the Women's March. Hundreds of thousands more marched across our great country. More than 5 million people worldwide participated in a peaceful, fearless, nonviolent gathering to support... everyone. Shoulder to shoulder. No panic, pushing, yelling or fighting. All different classes and races were represented to show each other civility and support. Why? For a multitude of reasons. To experience the democratic process. To protect civil rights. Human rights. Disability rights. Reproductive rights. Education reform. Environmental reform. To be a part of a like-minded collective. And because....

March sign

I truly believe we live in the greatest country. We can hold protests without fear of retribution. We can speak our minds without fearing for our lives. I believe in the overall goodness of humanity. And I believe we CAN make a difference because we have to. 

 The reality in 2017 is we are not equal. Have we made progress? Yes. But not enough. Do you have a physical or mental disability?  Are you handicapped by the color of your skin, socioeconomic status or gender? You're beginning five steps behind the starting line before you even get out of the gate. I march with you. 

Speaking as a woman about women as that is my vantage point: We don't get paid the same as our male counterparts. We are praised more for our beauty than our brains. And God forbid we are not 'perfect' by society's standards.  I have taken the blame for men's (and sometimes women's) bad decisions because 'they'll be more accepting of your mistake' or 'they won't be so hard on you.' I silently shouldered the brunt of the backlash. Why? Because  I was afraid. Afraid of retribution and repercussions.  I have been called a bitch, a cunt, weak, and useless.  I never want anyone to feel the shame, the embarrassment and the humiliation of not feeling good enough that I have felt.  I don't want anyone to be bullied or coerced. I march with you.

I walked with two women who show me daily what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. I proudly walk with you two. 

 I want to help protect Mother Earth, because if we keep disfiguring and sickening her, she will rise up and fight back. And She is way stronger than we are. I march with you. 

So I jumped on a train and rode 7 hours to Washington. I watched as more and more marchers poured into the cars with each stop. They quietly turned the cafe car into an arts and crafts area, as signs were made, supplies shared and an easy camaraderie quickly formed.

We moved in a sea of humanity that rippled with waves of empathy, buoyed by the force of the message that we are not alone.

 We need to be better. I truly believe we can be. We just need to make ourselves seen and heard. Because this is what democracy looks like. This is what humanity looks like. This is what WE look like.

And I'm with Us. 

 

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Turn The Page

 


Shadows and Light

Shadows and Light

It's a new year and it's all about the numbers.

12 new chapters.

365 new pages to write...or rewrite. And then rewrite again.

And 4 words to thread throughout the fabric of this year: Faith, Determination, Passion, and Hope.

It's a mental thing, this need to start over, as we can technically do it at any time. But January is the official starting over point....a supposed clean slate, We all know it's bullshit but it gives us collective hope that we can make concrete changes.   Maverick souls know better.  We know that it is simply a time of transition. A new month, a new week, a new day, a new hour, a new minute....seconds strung together to present opportunities to begin anew. Change can blissfully occur at any moment. We possess the ability to change everything in a second....

...Just by changing a mindset.

We also know January can be the darkest time of the year for many as the holidays end and winter stretches fiercely in front of us. How do you bring light and magic to this time?   How do you believe in a Present bursting with potential and a Future made up of dreams and always so far away? 

 

WITH FAITH, DETERMINATION, PASSION AND HOPE.

Faith. What roots your soul? What and who do you believe in? Have faith that you can do anything you set your mind to. Because you can. That unwavering faith roots you.

Determination. What are you determined to change? Believe in yourself and your capacity for carving out a better opportunity.

Passion. What are you passionate about? Your passion fuels your determination. Manifest your passion. Set intentions for change that incite passion in your soul.

 

Hope. HOPE THAT THINGS CAN AND WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, AND THAT YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

 

 

One other thing: Now is the time to be creative. I once read that creativity is the courage to live your life in a way that best expresses who you are. For me, that means I'd like to write a great story. Live a great story.

Lacking courage? Find a mentor, then be one. 

Just. Get. Started. 

The most valuable and important things come to us when we cultivate the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable and compassionate, to others and ourselves.

And THAT, my Maverick friends, can be really hard. More to come on this in a future blog...

 

Okay, one really last thing: my amazingly talented friend Jay Williams had this to say about the journey, and it may be one of my mantras for 2017:

Jay
Repeat: You have to enjoy the process of the grind. Sheer brilliance, Jay. 
That's what we're going to do for the next 12 months. 52 weeks. 8,765.82 hours. 
31,556,953 seconds. If that's daunting, how about we start with an inhale and an exhale?
Just START.

Consider this a written kick in the ass. 

And on we go.

Of Service

Sometimes everything

has to be

inscribed across

the heavens

so you can find

the one line

already written

inside you. 

~David Whyte

This is where we are today, in this world, a time where people are being called to action. To move when most everything seems stagnant. We need to listen to the whispers inside of us that ache for change. We need to be the change.

Your purpose, your work. What is calling you? How does the Power of Being of Service speak to you? 

Author Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a wonderful book called Big Magic.  She believes you can catch ideas that travel through the Universe looking to be realized. You have a choice: act upon them and bring them to fruition or let them go. Ms. Gilbert believes that ideas want to be caught and realized, and they will keep bouncing around the universe until they find their 'match.' 

My friend, Robyn Ivy, is a perfect example of this. Robyn is a gifted photographer known for capturing the essence of her subject. Her gift led her from one photo shoot to a second, life-changing one.

 

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Dorian Murray. Age 8. Suffering from an untreatable form of pediatric cancer, and really pissed off that this photo shoot was taking so long.  Robyn met Dorian after a chance meeting with Dorian's Mom, Melissa. A friend had purchased a photo shoot to help lift Melissa's spirits and change her outlook. It also changed Robyn's, and led to a soul-shattering movement called Project 3.8 - named for the 3.8% of national funding given to pediatric cancer research. 

Robyn loved this photo of Dorian. So did the world. The photo capturing Dorian's attitude became the face of pediatric cancer and the DStrong Movement, a foundation in Dorian's name to help children with cancer.  But something was niggling Robyn. Too often, images of children with cancer are scenes from their hospital bed. Whispers told her there was another side of the story. What did their FIGHT look like?  How could she capture the way these children fought cancer, their level of acceptance, surrender, and grace,  AND help bring awareness? 

Using only a pair of boxing gloves as a prop, Robyn captured their Spirit by doing what she does best. 

 

James Green, age 17

James Green, age 17

19 portraits would soon come together, 20 including Dorian's, with Dorian being the only angel amongst them.  

 

Evangelina Hill, age 4

Evangelina Hill, age 4

The beautiful new face of an old fight. Strong, fierce, yet soft in their strength.  

 

Sebastian Calado, age 6

Sebastian Calado, age 6

"No one wants to talk about kids with cancer...it's time to turn hope into real help." ~ Robyn Ivy
That's exactly what Project 3.8 did. This traveling exhibit raised awareness and funds for the Dorian j. Murray Foundation. And Robyn's fear of no one showing up? Totally unfounded. The crowds came. Night after night. So did many of the children in the portraits, to the absolute delight of their audience.  Robyn now wants to take the exhibit nationwide and photograph children in different states. 19 of them, with the 20th always being Dorian.
See what happens when you listen to the call of service?

When ideas sift through your soul, GRAB the one that touches your Spirit and run with it...

Be of service. now. 

Please.

 

 

Unsettled

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Unsettled

I feel unsettled, like I'm missing something. For me, it usually means change is coming. 

 

Maybe it's the change of seasons. Maybe it's the unnerving political climate. Or maybe it's just a shift within me, a crack that's starting to appear.
 You can hear the breaking in the 'In Between', those fleeting moments of just Being.  Cracks, groans, flashes of ideas. Moments that are far too fleeting and hard to hold onto.

The new basketball season is about to get underway, which means racing from airport to airport, site to site. Then home again. hOMe again. Two very different lives that get cobbled together and wedged between a personal life. Change the job description, insert yours...Sound familiar?

It's on those endless plane/train/car rides we begin to search for the meaning of the 'In Between.'

Desperately we furrow our brows as we try to hear harder, cling to fleeting thoughts as they come too quickly and sometimes imperceptibly. Or worse, we ignore them; It's easier to stuff them down as these moments are unnerving. It takes us out of our comfort zone and makes us feel like we are somehow losing control. 

We are not.

Listen. Start with an acknowledgement.

And then another one.

Let it roll around your brain for a bit and see how it intellectually feels.

And then, let your soul see how it feels.

Somewhere... where the head, heart and soul align... in the in between...the answer lies.

You break open, you make changes or you don't, and you continue.

 Until one day, the feeling of unsettledness creeps in again...

 

 

 

 

 

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True Colors

True Colors

'loving yourself through the process is where your courage lives....'

Not good enough.

Too old.

Too fat.

Unqualified.

Stupid.

Socially unacceptable.

 

Oh, those voices inside (and outside) our heads. Why do we listen and engage in these conversations? They're just stories and most aren't true, not even close . We play head games with ourselves, hold onto things that no longer serve us, and punish with deprivation. Where the hell do we learn this behavior?
That's why programs such as the Embody Love Movement are so vitally important to all of us, and the reason why we made a huge colorful mess on our front lawn at Laughing Elephant Yoga this past weekend.
The Embody Love Movement was created by our brilliant friend, Dr. Melody Moore. Melody is smart, compassionate, and funny as hell.  But she is all business when you get her talking about girls, body image and self worth.  'I started the Embody Love Movement because I wanted to empower girls to know that they have value, and that they have a particular contribution to make to the world. I wanted girls to recognize that they are worthy, and that that worth is not conditional. The culture is sending the opposite message, and I grew weary of watching girls disappear into insecurity, depression, and Eating Disorders. I wanted to prevent more self-loathing and self-harm and contribute to self-love and self-acceptance. There will never be an end to the need for each of us to care for, value, and appreciate ourselves. And until we can do that, we will never be able to care for, value, and appreciate each other.
Color Me Bad

Color Me Bad

Just about every woman I've spoken with has a dysfunctional relationship with her body. We love it, we hate it, we're embarrassed by it.  I still subconsciously judge how my day is going to be by whether or not I can see my hip bones. I've been doing this ritual since I was 12. Seriously.

 My BFF Debbie Valois and I recently talked about body image, eating disorders, and the lifetime struggle with liking ourselves.  Debbie has battled with an eating disorder for over 30 years. It has reared its ugly head every decade, and after the last fight three years ago, Debbie felt enough was enough. She was tired of battling numbers and labels and most of all not feeling good in her own skin. International yoga teacher Seane Corn suggested that Debbie seek out Melody and her program.  'I took Melody's workshop in Dallas two years ago and it was a game changer. I really feel it is helping me break the cycle.'  The program teaches us to face our fears, insecurities and demons and realize they are just shadows in our bright souls. Acknowledge them with detachment, and let them go. Debbie felt so strongly about the Embody Love program that she  now teaches it.  

 

 

Debbie showing her true colors

Debbie showing her true colors

The Embody Love Movement never turns anyone away, so Debbie asked if we could do a fundraiser to help Melody and company at Laughing Elephant. Duh. But  we can't do anything without a playful twist: an outdoor yoga class morphed into a splashy color class followed by everyone's childhood nightmare...dodgeball. Yep. Crazy colors evened the playing field, as everyone soon looked the same, and dodgeball? Well, let's just say no one was picked last.  

 

 

Flair

Flair

Marianne Williamson famously stated "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us." 

Don't be afraid of the Darkness; it makes our light seem brighter, gives us depth and helps us to learn to love the gray areas. We also need to stop giving cred to our critical inner voices. Changing these conversations within ourselves can be really difficult; so where do we start?

Use kind words for yourself. Find 5 things you are grateful for every morning. Seane Corn has a list of non-negotiables for her life. Make your own and stick with it. And remember: no matter how much of a Maverick you are,  if you have ever felt isolated, please know you are not alone. Many of us have been there. Some still are.

change the vocabulary.

it'll change the dialogue. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Debbie Valois will be teaching an Embody Love Workshop this November 14 from 6p-9p at Laughing Elephant Yoga. Please go to www.laughingelephantyoga.com for more details. Not in New England? Please check out www.embodylovemovement.org to find a facilitator near you.

We Are The Camino

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We Are The Camino

Traveling can be a game changer. Traveling the Camino? Life changer. 

 

  We love home for its consistency and sameness.  It's those same qualities that we look to escape from.  Traveling is the cure for the mundane  We search for different experiences and a chance to step out of ourselves. We can be whoever we want to be when we travel. Do whatever we want. Learn lessons. Get further down the path. Being away from home affords us the opportunity to think and let go of our mistakes, heartaches, frustrations, and fears. It creates space to breathe life into hopes and dreams and fans that small flame within that gives you the courage to be you.  

This is all just amazing, right?  Armed with a new sense of self, we return home, and then, usually within a couple of days, our personal journey resolutions come to a screeching halt, like the cartoon road runner vibrating to a stop. Reentry is hard. Really hard. That Experience, the change that occurred within us, is fiercely coveted and growingly elusive as we step back into our lives.  How do we keep the journey going and growing at home?  

How do you deal with your new normal in a place where nothing changes but everything about you did?

When Meg and I walked the Camino, a hotel desk clerk told us that 'We are the Camino.' It was a brilliant, beautiful observation. We each are on a journey of our own design, each a unique energy moving towards the collective as we create our own Path along the Way. I've mentioned that the Camino symbol is the scallop shell: the shell has lines that groove from the outer rim to a point at the base. The lines represent the many geographical paths you can take to Santiago, Spain, the spiritual destination of the Camino.  The shell also symbolizes the many different paths-physical, emotional, spiritual, religious- that lead to the same place, the Universal Source. The collective You. 

Think about this:  maybe it's not so much expecting home to change. Maybe we need to be the change in our communities. Home is just a different path with a few more bumps along the way.

You do you. 

Slowly. Deliberately. And with rockin' blind faith.

 

And hopefully, one day,you discover the balance is just right...and you  find that your life has...

 

that perfect ease. 

 

And sustaining that? That's where the real work begins...

We are always under construction

We are always under construction

Rock Solid

Rock Solid

Same name, different energy, same path  

Same name, different energy, same path  

Bliss

Bliss

The Way at Laughing Elephant

The Way at Laughing Elephant

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Gratitude

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Gratitude

I  just walked 156 miles of the Camino from Porto, Portugal  to Santiago, Spain. That's a lot of miles to hike and think as you travel this winding road stamped with Gratitude and Grace by Pilgrims. With that said:

I am so blessed and grateful for my family tree (my Dad, Coles, Johnny and Dawn who reached out every day) and for those who give me roots (Debbie who held down the LEY fort, Sha Sha, Liza, Lyndsy, Alex, Rachel who took care of Bodhi, Liz, Brenda, Sarah, Big G, Inga Byleckie, Aeriel, Josh, Soul Sib, Katie Marshall and my LEY and tv families who touched base along the way. Gratitude and love always to my favorite teacher and best friend Debbie Valois who continues to inspire, and to my mentor Seane Corn who unknowingly points me in the right direction. Always.

i am so grateful I could take the time to do this, and have/had the physical and emotional strength to finish. 

Best wishes to new friends I met along the way, especially Nina and Peter. 

Lastly, a huge and heartfelt thank you to Megan Eddy and Tim Unger, the best guides and traveling companions a girl could ask for. Love you both.

 'Cheerio Miss Sophie....'

 

 Travel (b)log riffs:

I'm not here to get to the goal, I'm here to do every  single step. 

And wouldn't you know the last mile was UPHILL?!?  

1028 pilgrims climbed into Santiago yesterday.  Meg, Tim and I were three of them.

Friends have asked me about the significance of the Camino scallop shell. Meg says one theory is the lines in the shell signify the different routes you can take to Santiago...different roads, same destination . Amen.

Attending mass in a foreign language is oddly comforting. 

You travel the Camino in search of many things, including stamps. You get a passport at the beginning of your journey and get it stamped along the way to prove you walked it. Tim was obsessive about collecting stamps. When you reach Santiago, you turn your passport in and get your 'compostela', a certificate validating your walk. I didn't need validation, but looking for places that will give you a stamp can really help pass the time. And give you a reason to stop. 😊

Live a life you will remember.  

You can travel the Camino on horseback. What the heck do you do with the horse at night?!?!?! 

Bagpipes outside a Catholic Church?!? 

Sitting in the square (literally) at St James church watching  today's pilgrims arrive was just brilliant.  

One of the first people I met on this journey was an English woman named Nicole Ball. Total rock star and funny as hell. She told me my favorite quote of this trip: 

'Where feathers fall and Angels tread gypsies roam' 

 

 

Journey's end

Journey's end

Taking a seat

Taking a seat

Different path, same destination

Different path, same destination

Rooftop view

Rooftop view

No words needed

No words needed

Scallop shell lining the square

Scallop shell lining the square

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That Sounds About Right

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That Sounds About Right

15 miles to Santiago. 15.  

Meg, Tim, and I have walked more than 135 miles this past week, a feat I could have only imagined.  It truly is the little things that keep you going:  the sing song sounds of the Camino, the beautiful scenery, the fond memories of those who have passed (who you swear at times are walking with you) and the Ghosts you've carried with you for far too long and finally, tearfully,  release on a hillside. You leave parts of yourself as you walk the Camino, but you also fill your heart with new and unexpected experiences and people. 

And that, my friends, sounds about right. 

 

Travel (b) log riffs: 

if you think you can, you can. 

Everything sounds better and more doable In time increments. For example, 'just another hour' sounds way better than 2 miles. 

I so love street art. 

You're never too old to rock piggies and ponies

What is said and done on The Camino stays on the Camino.

Here, you can put 'walked the Camino' on your resume

Power naps are awesome. 

Urban dictionary read by Megan Eddy is brilliant.   

Why are farts funny? 

Corn nuts added to bar mix is a total salty winner. 

 

 

 

Another day in the books! 

Another day in the books! 

Fall

Fall

Every turn brings new and wondrous surprises

Every turn brings new and wondrous surprises

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Belly Laughs

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Belly Laughs

The Camino has been ringing with laughter these last few days. We're not talking giggles or snorting smiles. We're talking stop and bend over belly laughs. Pee your pants laughter. Meg's going to poop herself laughter.

Pilgrims laugh over anything and everything and it's all in good fun.  Weiner schnitzel is funny. 'Hello ladies...and I use that term loosely' is hilarious. 'Ointment' is side-splitting. The point is, everyone wants to laugh because it's our common language. It allows us to forget the hills, the sore feet, and  the stomach aches and unite in the joy of our journey.

And...it allows us to just be.  

Travel (b)log riffs:

never underestimate the importance of clean socks. 

if you poop on the Camino, is it considered a 'holy shit'? 

Turning a corner at the top of a hill in the middle of nowhere and finding Pedro and Manuel selling cold drinks ...priceless.

Our friend Tim's response to everything, no matter how crazy: 'Let's just see what happens '. 

Megan's response to everything: 'that sounds about right.' 

Crazy how certain smells bring you immediately back to another time and place. We walked through endless grape fields today and the smells reminded me of my grandfather's backyard where he had a grape arbor, cement table included. Grandpa Mancini would have smiled and approved. 

Free breakfast yay! Not being able to identify anything-boo!

its been 10 days of walking and No One has asked me what I do for a living. They just don't care. They are more interested in how you are doing, who you are voting for, and where you are from. They got it right.

 

 

 

 

Ponteverda 

Ponteverda 

That kind of day

That kind of day

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New Age Pilgrims

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New Age Pilgrims

 

Pilgrims from all over have been doggedly following yellow arrows en route to Santiago for Centuries. New Age pilgrims do the same, although we have added help: google maps. The  Camino arrows provide the way but Google maps confirm.  I'm not sure how the original Trekkers did it because some areas are not well marked. But with one 'pin drop', you can basically get yourself anywhere. 

We are saying goodbye to the beautiful ocean coastline and are now weaving through medieval streets as we edge closer to our final destination. Meg says the scenery becomes similar from here on out.

The journey supposedly turns inward and it now becomes about our internal landscape. 

We shall see. 

 

Travel (b)logging riffs: 

One of our favorite pilgrims used the German version of Ben Gay on his 'crown jewels' instead of his heat rash cream.

Limping 9 miles sucks. Having Meg drain the cause of your limp is disgustingly awesome.

Writing a blog on your iPhone is really hard, especially when you forget your glasses. And nothing saves properly. 

New Age Pilgrims order room service.

 All Antonios are amazing.

Finding a beautiful hotel without bedbugs 15 miles from the original booking is awesome. Taking a cab BACK 15 miles the next day so you do the whole Camino-priceless. (or really stupid)

 

Everyone here seems to be required to have two dogs: a large ferocious German Shepard and an equally ferocious chihuahua

That's what she said does not translate on the Camino

When a local tells you just one hill and smiles, don't believe them.

My girl Liza is biking the Camino as we walk. Her text this morn:

I'll be climbing for the next 3 hours + ... Will let you know when I make it to the top.  Gentle climb for 20km then steep for another 20km! 

Liza: YOU DO YOU.

 

Megan gets a cookie every 4 miles. Cookies matter

Riding a bike through the woods makes you instantly sexy

'Meat always'seems to be the European way. And while  they care about the lactose intolerant, basically it's fuck the vegetarians.

The best of both   

The best of both

 

Bad hare day

Bad hare day

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You Do You

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You Do You

 

My friend and pseudo guide Meg uses this wonderful expression, 'you do you. ' It means you should set your own pace and take care of your own way. The destination may be the same, the journey, however, can be different. It took me several days to figure this out and truly understand what Meg meant. 

Meg walks really fast. Up hills and down. She never loses stride or focus until she has to stop and pee. Seriously.  For the first several days I tried to keep pace, but several blisters later, I realized I needed to find my own rhythm. Today I did just that. And as I wandered, my maverick soul filled. I embraced the rocky coastline, which is so like the northeast! I untethered a horse that was tangled in its chain. I stopped and spoke to a Spanish bicyclist who was from Madrid. I met pilgrims from Croatia, Germany, Canada, and Spain. I whistled at a long eared donkey to get his attention.  And I sang and hummed and whistled as I meandered from the path overlooking the sea and then up into the wooded farmland and then down again. 

 

You do you.

On the trail. 

And off. 

Always.

 

Trail (b)log riffing: 

'All Who Wander Are Not Lost' . Well, sometimes those who wander are lost.  Especially if it's the end of a really long day and you are trying to find your hotel and you get poor directions that lead straight up the mountain. And you have three new blisters and are exhausted.  Then take a cab.

The coastline of Portugal and Spain are rocky and beautiful and eerily familiar to our Rhode Island shores. Different coast...same sea....all one.

We are following yellow arrows through Europe. Seriously.  Arrows.

Blisters are no joke. 

there are so many kind people on the trail, beyond kind! 

Pilgrims all make some sort of noise: singing, whistling...humming.... I have now picked it up...

I have the best hat on the Camino...thank you Liza for recommending Walleroo!!!

feathers and heart shaped stones are strewn everywhere in my path.

The ocean owns my soul.

Beware the bedbug.  

Craggy coastlines make me long for home. But I'm not ready for this to end yet.

 

 

Doesn't do it justice. 

Doesn't do it justice. 

Never lose sight of the yellow arrow... 

Never lose sight of the yellow arrow... 

Uphill.... Meg in distance   

Uphill.... Meg in distance

 

Breakfast... Every morn...

Breakfast... Every morn...

Look at those E-A-R-S... 

Look at those E-A-R-S... 

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